


Your Mask, Or Mine?

by MizUnderstood2136



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:44:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizUnderstood2136/pseuds/MizUnderstood2136
Summary: Brazyn Trevelyan was a reluctant Inquisitor, getting the post because she was running from her own problems back home and happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.A charming and snarky rogue, she proved her mettle again and again. Though the only one who's opinion she really wanted refused to give in.Blackwall has his own demons he's dealing with, but Brazyn is relentless in her pursuit of the poor man. And who's a match for those gray and purple eyes? Or those lips he dreams about nearly every night?We know how their story *should* go...But is that how it really happened?





	1. Your Room or Mine

**Author's Note:**

> I finally did it. Romanced the Wall. Saw some smutty drawings and had to write a thing. Ima draw a thing too. Eventually.  
>  Enjoy my own take on climbing the Wall

**Brazyn -**

 

I stood on the bridge, looking down at the barn.  _ He _ was in there. Infuriating. Frustrating. Exhilarating. He smelled like wood and sex. He sounded like gravel and he made my entire body thrum with a need I didn't even know it was capable of.

But he pushed me away. Constantly. And so I tortured him. Today I was going to spar with Iron Bull down in the courtyard. Agility training. Bull knew what I was up to. Encouraged me even. I headed back to my room to change clothes. Loose pants, a sleeveless undershirt and a tight vest. I slipped on my leather boots, wrapping the ties around the bottoms of the pant legs. 

Then I made my way back to the lower courtyard. Bull.made noise about using the tree or steps or water well as weapons. Things I knew but hey, this was a show right? 

“Are you ready, Inquisitor?” Bull asked, swinging his arms back and forth, stretching. I had my two training dirks in my hands, tucked up against my forearms. I crouched and beckoned him with a finger. He produced a giant flat edged battle axe, that had to weigh at least half of my own weight. I raised an eyebrow, “Are we overcompensating today,  _ Bull _ ?” I sneered. He bellowed a laugh before lunging at me.

Then things got serious. For all intents and purposes, I needed the workouts seeing as I was .. Unfulfilled in other ways, and we only did this down here for my own benefit. Soon the only sound was metal hitting metal, the sharp thud of Bull’s axe impaling the dirt and our own grunts. Rolling and striking, swinging and missing, we used the entirety of the courtyard as our battleground. 

After an hour or so, Bull had me go and try to sneak up on him. Which would have worked better had they repaired all of the slats on the roof of the barn. I was slowly creeping across the edge of the roof when one of the boards broke. I soundlessly dangled from the broken board, about 15 feet above the ground. I could hear Bull whistling behind me, and then a bellow. 

“What are you doing?!” Blackwall yelled from below me. I sighed. Heard a tearing sound, praying it wasn't my pants.

“Well I was attempting to hunt Bull but then the roof broke. Again. After I told them to repair it. Would you mind moving?” I asked, my breathing harsher than I liked. My fingers were starting to lose their grip. 

“Do you have a death wish?” he called up. I looked down and tried to plan how not to die. Or impale myself on the post beneath me. 

“Move,” I said, and as he stepped, I slipped, managing to push off the side of the barn with my toe and do a half assed flip through the air, rolling when I landed. I laid there on the grass, assessing the damage before I moved. Blackwall grabbed me and pulled me to my feet. “Why are you so careless?” he growled at me. I shoved his hands away.

“Why do you suddenly care?” I sneered, brushing the dirt and grass off my clothes. I felt a burn in my shoulder and turned to look at it. Caught sight of the ragged tear in my shirt and vest, all the way down my side. 

“What, just because.. Because we can't be together doesn't mean I don't care. I've always cared,” he grumbled. I turned and just looked at him, trying to hold my shirt shut.

“I'm going to go get this gash stitched up. I'll send someone to repair your roof,” I said, resigned. His eyes narrowed, and before I could think my hands were at my hips and my shirt slid open again. His eyes dropped and he growled. I lifted my chin and grabbing my shirt, i turned to leave. I heard his breath catch when he caught sight of my shoulder. His hand grasped my arm, but I didn't turn. 

“You're actually hurt from that game you were playing,” he said quietly. 

I pulled my arm away. “It’s nothing, pain is nothing. I won't be back.” I walked away. 

**\---**

“You're too harsh,” Dorian said as he healed my shoulder. The healer had refused to stitch the Inquisitor, insisting it be healed so I was in top form. I shrugged and he poked me. 

“If this was one sided then I would wash my hands of it. But he's in as deep as I, and denying it seems so wrong,” I said quietly. He sighed.

“Maybe you should corner him and ravish him before he can say no?” he suggested. I laughed.

“This isn't a romance novel, Dorian.”

“Well it should be. All the angst and need floating about you two is thick enough to cut. Besides he saw you half naked. Nothing to show for it. Pfft.”

He finished the healing and I left him on my couch. I went into the closet to change. “I think he could see me fully naked and still remain stoic,” I called out. He snorted. 

“We could test that theory. Next time we leave the keep, you go to the hot spring on the way home and I'll conveniently ask him to go check on you.”

I poked my head out, “Really? That's your brilliant plan? Ambush him with hot water and hope he jumps me?” I went back to getting fresh clothes. I pulled on dark gray pants, a black long tunic with a light gray vest, and my black glove. I left the closet bare footed and went to the mirror to braid my hair. “I might just give up,” I muttered. Dorian walked up behind me. “If I wasn't currently who I am, I would totally give him a run for his money,” he said with a silly grin. I elbowed him and he just laughed. I finished my hair and went to sit on my bed.

“I don't understand it. Am I really.. That set apart?” I asked quietly. He sat next to me and took my hand. “You, my dear, are a special kind of perfection. And I think that he has you on a bit of a pedestal. It might be time for you to seduce the man.”

I looked at him. “I've never had to seduce a man, Dorian.They usually just.. Fall in line. Maker I sound terrible,” I was horrified. He just laughed.

“Oh I expected that already. Sometimes, the ones you really want, make you work for it.”

I stood and threw my hands up. “Fine. Maybe after I talk to him. And apologize.”

He just laid on my bed laughing at me as I stormed out of the tower, completely forgetting my shoes. I snuck through the kitchens and out the back entrance by the barn. The sun had set and the barn doors were closed. I knocked on the door, heard a rustling before the door opened.

I swallowed and turned to go, not even speaking. He had answered the door with no shirt on, and his pants untied. I could feel all the blood in my body rushing for my face. 

“Inquisitor?” he said, his voice raspier than usual. 

I stopped, didn't turn back. 

“What's my name?” I whispered. He sighed. 

“You're the Herald.. It wouldn't..” he started to say but me turning and glaring at him stopped his words. “What. Is. My. Name?” I enunciated each word sharply, stepping forward with each step. I was right in front of him, short without my usual boots. I swallowed. But stood my ground. He radiated heat, and I could see the pulse in his throat go wild with my nearness. He didn't speak, just watched me with wary eyes. 

“I can see your pulse, racing like mine.” I inhaled deeply, “your eyes dilate. Your breath hitches. Your hands clench. You watch me. Just as I watch you. Why do you push me away?” I whispered the last, my eyes on his. A breeze wafted past, dragging my hair into my face. 

He reached up and brushed it from my lips, his fingers lingering. “I'm not a good man,” he said quietly. 

“I kill people for a living,” I answered, my hand on his arm, keeping his hand at my face. He sighed again. I tilted my head to the side, and his face softened, a begrudging smile on his lips. 

“You're incorrigible.”

I nodded. “I'm a lot of things. Wouldn't you like to know more..?”

He started to shake his head, but my other hand on his chest stopped him. He looked down. Then back at me. “I can only take so much, lass,” he said. I laughed. 

“I'm not so young. I've lived. Maybe not as much as some, but I'm not a lass. I'm a full grown woman, I promise.” He slowly nodded.

“I can see that.” 

“Good,” I said, standing on my toes. His arm snaked around me, and finally.

After weeks of him pretending that first kiss on the battlements didn't happen, he kissed me again. This was no sweet kiss like before, however. 

Weeks of pent up frustration bled through, fingers in my hair, breath hot and heavy. His tongue pulled at mine, desperation mingling with sheer want. He pulled me up his chest, my arms wrapping around his neck, my feet leaving the ground. I lost myself in those moments, chest to chest with the one thing haunting my dreams.

Until a throat cleared behind me. I gasped, turning to look. 

Josephine, with a look of amused horror on her face. “I'm.. So sorry Inquisitor. An urgent message has just been delivered, and the other advisors require your presence.” 

“I'll be there in a minute,” I said, still trapped against Blackwall’s chest. She just hastily nodded before heading back across the courtyard. I turned back to Blackwall. “This isn't over,” I said, a knot in my stomach fearing it really was. 

“Not by a long shot, Brazyn,” he said, kissing me again quickly before setting me down. I stood there and swayed a moment before straightening. “Meet me tonight? In my room? Please?” I asked. He only nodded. I turned and ran. Back into the keep the way I had left. When I made it to the top of the stairs, I looked back and he was leaning against the door, arms crossed across his hair covered chest. He just gave me a nod, and I went inside. 

**\---**

Hours later, I finally made it back to my room. Which was dark and empty. I sighed, going into the closet to change. When I emerged wearing the black nightgown Josie had insisted I buy, I found Blackwall leaning against the door to the balcony. I sighed. Went to my mirror and took the braids out of my hair, scratching my scalp and pondering how to do this. 

He appeared behind me at the dresser, wearing a simple white shirt and the same pants from earlier. I raised my eyebrows. “I didn't think you would come,” I said. He shrugged, “I almost didn't. I don't have the strength left to walk away,” he answered, his hands moving to my shoulders. I just watched him in the mirror. 

“Why walk away?” I tilted my head again. His hand swept my hair behind my shoulder, his lips grazing my neck, sending shivers down my spine. 

“Who's walking away?” he murmured, his eyes catching mine in the mirror. One of his hands wrapped around my waist, under my breasts. The other grasping my chin and turning my face. His eyes bore into mine, in the moment before he laid his lips on mine. My breath died in my chest, a punch of heat in my stomach. 

And here was everything. This kiss was calculating. Slow. Methodical and thorough. My body weakened against his, his arm holding me up. When his lips left mine, I almost cried. He released my chin, his hand dropping to my shoulder. He untied the right strap. The fabric fell to the top of my breast, held up by its fullness. He reached around me and did the same to the left. Both of his hands moved then, pulling the satin fabric down. 

The sound he made when I was bared to his gaze was nothing short of entranced. “You.. Continue to defy expectations,” he said, reverence in his tone. I just shrugged a shoulder, causing his eyes to widen. His hands moved to my chest, hot on my breasts, fingers rough and greedy. Need pooled in my belly, as he explored every inch of my bare skin. I could feel him pressed against my back. The clothes were a paltry barrier between his arousal and me. 

His hands moved about my body, before pulling my nightgown from my waist. It fluttered to the floor at my feet. 

“How do you hide all of this beneath your clothes?” he asked, surprise coloring is voice. I laughed. 

“Hide all of what?” I teased. He just shook his head, his hands spreading on my stomach. “You're such.. An enigma. So hard and sharp out there. The Inquisitor. Herald of Andraste. But here? You're soft. Supple. Beauty hiding behind a blade.”

I tried to halt the blush I felt taking over my body. “I'm no such thing,” I muttered, and his chuckle send a frisson of heat through me. “You are every such thing, “he whispered. His mouth dropped to my shoulder, teeth nipping at my skin, his beard making me shiver. His left hand slid down my body, cupping me. My hand covered his, keep it there, between my legs. 

“Oh, really now?”

I nodded. “Love me,” I whispered. His face softened, “Your wish.. Is my command,” he whispered back. His fingers spread me, the growl I felt against my back making me smile. He began to move his fingers.. Expertly driving me to madness. His other hand moved to my neck, holding me still, both of our eyes watching his hand as he tucked a finger inside me. I moaned as he pushed it deep, thick and strong, his thumb on my clit. “Your face,” he said, awe roughening his words. My eyes snapped back to his in the mirror. My heart raced in my chest, my stomach clenching as he edged me closer. 

“Take it,” he whispered. 

I just shook my head. Two fingers slid inside me, persistent and thorough. My legs shook, and the feral look in his eyes making me tremble. I bit my lip, my head falling back against his shoulder. Writhing against his hand, the sounds escaping me breathy and ridiculous. Lips at my ear, “I need this,” he said. I couldn't even answer, my body following his hands lead willingly. 

And then… Bliss. My eyes closed as my body rode out the orgasm, throbbing and hot, grasping at his hand. His grunt of approval barely prepared me for his arms sweeping me off of my feet and carrying me to my bed. He set me down on the bed, and I moved to kneel in front of him. I tugged the ties at the neck of his shirt, and he pulled it off over his head. My eyes raked over his body. Hard muscled covered in a carpet of dark hair. My fingers ran down his chest, marvelling at his heat. His hands caught mine as they reached his pants. I raised an eyebrow, before running my fingers over his arousal, still within its confines.

He shuddered. Released my hands and unbuttoned the pants, pushing them down his legs. He stepped out of his the pants and boots, standing there before me naked. I chewed my lip, before reaching out and taking his cock in my hand. He gasped as my thumb swept across the tip, my fingers gently stroking him. My hand twisted as I tugged, his head falling back as I administered to his need. I placed a kiss on his chest, over his heart. His hands grasped my face, pulling it to his.

Lips meet. Tongues dance. He pressed us back onto the bed, his body settling on top of mine. His hips nestled between my legs, my foot rubbing his calf as his hands took hold of both of mine. 

“Are you really sure?” he asked, his mouth a breath from mine. 

“Never been more sure,” I answered. He nodded then, shifting his hips. His cock settled at my entrance, his body trembling as he slowly entered me. My eyes closed, relishing the feel of him. Finally. Inside. Me. 

He fingers entwined with mine, drawing our hands above my head, as he started to move. I sighed, my hips meeting his thrust for thrust. Heat spreading through me, every fiber of my being belonging to him a little more with each time he filled me.

His hips ground into me, his cock thick and hot. My foot wrapped around his leg, my body lost to feeling.. Everything. His lips grazed my neck. My jaw. “Do you know how many nights I lost sleep to thoughts of you?” he whispered in my ear. 

“About as many as I lost to want for you,” I answered honestly. I opened my eyes, his face moving above mine. “Truly?” He sounded surprised. 

“Have you seen your hands?” I asked him. He raised an eyebrow. “You have.. Incredible hands. They've been the focus of my thoughts far more than I should admit. The way you hold your shield. Your .. Sword. The hammer on the barn. Tucked into your pocket. Your hand at your mouth.” 

He looked shocked. 

“I watch your hands. I've dreamed about them on my body. Every. Inch. Of. Me.”

“Shut,” he said, twitching inside me. His lips took mine again, his hips moving faster. Within moments I was writhing under him, desperate for everything. 

Then I fell. For him? Under him. Crying out. Body quaking with the force of the orgasm, clutching at his cock as he continued to move. His pace quickened, his face tightening as he joined me in bliss. Hips grinding against me, cock digging deep as he spilled, his own hoarse cry singing through my veins. 

He slowly collapsed on top of me, his breath hot on my neck. He pulled my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. 

I drifted, my mind hazy in the aftermath of not one, but two exquisite orgasms. In the arms of the first man I've really wanted in years. 

Eventually he rolled off of me, laying on his back next to me. I turned into my side, pillowing my head on my arm as I stated at him. 

“You're really here?” I asked. He chuckled. 

“Oh, aye, I'm here. Couldn't have stayed away if I'd been chained to the barn.”

I reached out, brushing hair from his forehead. He looked at me then, blue eyes bright in the dim room. “You are a persistent one.”

I nodded. “I've had to be. I'm the youngest of 4 children and the only girl.  My oldest brother, he's the one who coined ‘Brazyn' as a name. He's twelve years older than me, married and the father of two girls. Divine justice,” I said. He chuckled. 

“What is this?” he asked, surprising me.

“Isn't that usually the line a woman uses?” I teased. He turned onto his own side, facing me. 

“It's been a long time, since I've been in a position to want something more. But I do. Not sure I deserve it, however.” 

My hand traced circles over his arm. “Have you seen how I spend my days? I bathe in death, Blackwall. I.. I feel like the biggest fraud around. I deal in death, and the numbers are staggering. If you're undeserving, so am I.”

“You're the most deserving person I've the pleasure to ever meet,” he grumbled. I laughed, bitter.

“I'm not. Do you want to know why I was at the conclave? I ran away from home, from an arranged marriage to an evil old man. I signed up with a mercenary company, was hired to help ‘keep the peace’. My father would be appalled. My brothers would laugh, then pat my head and tell me to obey. My soul was dying, and so I ran. Into the arms of an evil undead magister who has turned me into a walking time bomb. With a new magic link to the fade. I'm not innocent. Nor am I worth worshiping.” My voice trailed off, my heart slowing in my chest. 

“What a pair,” he said, eyes serious over his sardonic smile. I swiped at my face embarrassed to feel the wet. I rolled over, pressing to my face to the bed. The bed shifted, and his body pressed against my back, his hand covering mine. 

“You're worth so much more than you know,” he said in my ear. He pulled me close, curling his legs behind mine.

“Will you stay?” I whispered into the dark. 

“Your wish..” he said, squeezing me for a moment. A blanket was pulled over us and I fell asleep to the sound of his even breathing. 

 

**\-----**

 

The next few days passed in a flurry of activity, no real time for pleasantries or stolen moments. We traveled incessantly, closing rifts fighting the Venatori. Never ending bloodbath. I was angry and bitter, ready to snap by the time we returned to the keep. I left them all in a confused mass at the gates, storming my way inside. I snagged some bread on my way up to my room, eating it as I walked. I locked the door to the tower and tossed my daggers on the bed as I walked by. Into the closet I went, undressing angrily, unable to even pull on a nightgown. I pulled a blanket from my bed, wrapping myself in it before starting to pace the length of the room. 

An awful few days. Ceaseless horrors. We had gone into the Western Approach, and while it started out innocuous enough, by the time we left, we had found horror upon horror. Not even the demon kind. But the person-on-person kind. The kind where we found bloody cages in caverns, and caves full of red lyrium and notes on experimentation. My breaking point was finding a bloody stuffed bear in one of the camps. I was done. Declared we would come back and marched right out of there. I didn’t even look to see if I was followed or not. I didn’t speak to anyone on the way back, or once at Skyhold.    
I needed to breathe. And I still felt trapped. By blood and death and the evils that people could inflict on other people. Would it never end? Was this my new destiny, to not be shackled to an evil old dying man, but to a world where every day a death could be attributed to my hand or my decision making? Was this life? This death mired mess that I was living? My chest felt tight and I couldn’t make sense of myself anymore. I crawled onto the bed, after what felt like hours of pacing, and fell into a deep sleep. 

 

**_I found myself walking the ramparts of Skyhold. Dark and gloomy, the keep was quiet with the majority of its occupants sleeping. I wore nothing but my blanket, and the cool of the night didn’t have its usual chill. I paid it no mind, however, when I spotted the open window to the barn. Blackwall laid on his bed, and at first I thought he was sleeping. But.. no. His hands were moving, and upon closer scrutiny I turned away, blushing furiously._ ** **_  
_ ** **_He had his cock in his hand, and was rubbing it the way I wanted to be. I looked back, my eyes drawn as if by magic. He was stroking himself, one hand gripping his shaft tight, the other roaming his body. Heat flooded my own, watching his intense self-administrations. I stood there in the dark, on the ramparts outside the barn, watching as he stroked himself into a near trance. I could hear his breathing, choppy and hard. His hips were lifting with each stroke, and his eyes were shut._ **

**_What was he thinking about? To be in such a state? Was it.. Me? Or did he see someone else behind those eyes? Some woman from his past, or someone else here who was less of a hassle than I? Someone who didn’t bathe in blood and wade in the politics of Thedas?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_What made his knuckles white as he stroked? His stomach tremble, his legs quiver? I could feel my own answering desire, and felt like a fool for watching. Before I could leave, he gave this harsh sound, as he spent on his hand and stomach, his entire body twitching as he gave in to the demands of his need. He laid there, shaking. Then his eyes opened and he saw me. I covered my mouth, shock a cold hand down my spine, and I ran._ **

 

I sat up with a gasp, my body drenched in sweat. I flopped back onto the bed, my hand over my heart.    
A dream.    
Nothing but a really really realistic dream. My ears were ringing, my heart racing. I stared at my ceiling, wondering what time it was. Then a pounding sounded at the door. 

“Go away!” I yelled.    
“Open the door!” 

My stomach clenched.    
Blackwall.    
I got up and dragged my handy blanket with me, silently made my way down the stairs to find him standing there on the walkway, his coat open, his hair a mess and a wild look in his eyes.    
“How?” he growled, as he pushed his way through, waiting for me to close the door. I did and relocked it. I walked ahead of him up the stairs. 

“How what?” I asked, pretending ignorance. His hand on my bare leg stopped me.    
I turned and he was intently staring at me. “How were you in my dream?” he ground out. I shrugged. “What dream?” I asked.    
He let go of my leg and I went to my bed, sitting on it carefully, staying inside the giant blanket. He grabbed my chair and set it down in front of me, before sitting in it. He perched his elbows on the arms, steepled his fingers in front of his face.    
“You know what I’m talking about,” he said quietly. I shook my head slowly.    
“I have been sitting here, stewing,” I said, nearly hating myself for the lie. But I had no idea how I wound up in his dream. Just like I had no idea how I had wound up in Solas’s. My mark, for sure. But other than that? It was a random thing at best, and made me feel like I was trespassing. 

“I saw you standing there. On the battlements, wrapped in that stupid blanket. Watching me.”   
I raised an eyebrow. “What was I supposedly watching?” I asked. 

“You.. you know what.”   
I shook my head. “Afraid I don’t. Maybe you should explain it to me.”   
His eyes narrowed. Then… his face changed. Less anger. More.. determination.    
“Maybe I should show you,” he said instead, making my stomach clench.    
“Show me what?” I asked, my mouth going dry at the thought of watching him do that again. 

He stood and removed his coat, dropping it onto the back of the chair before sitting again. “See, after our bout of lovemaking the other night, I have done little else but think about doing it again. But you were in no state when we returned to the keep, so I let you be and went to bed.”   
I raised an eyebrow.    
“Oh don’t look at me like that. You know very well what I am talking about. That was no full on dream, woman. I felt you there. Not the dream person one thinks up in their sleep. But I felt  _ you _ .”    
I lowered my head and sighed.    
“I didn’t..” I tried to say but his rude snort interrupted.    
“You did. I don’t know how, but you did. What are you going to do about it?”    
My eyes shot back to his and he no longer looked even remotely angry. I shrugged, making the blanket fall off of my shoulder. I didn’t even bother to fix it, as I was really no longer feeling cold.    
His eyes fell to the skin bared by the fallen cloth.    
“Since you are all hellbent about this, what do you want me to do?” I asked. I didn’t deny anything, nor did I confirm. But.. I was intrigued by the change in him.    
“I have no idea.”   
I laughed. Without further thought to consequences, I let go of the blanket and climbed from the bed. I then climbed onto the chair, straddling his lap. Took his face into my hands and with my eyes on his, I kissed him ever so gently. His breath hitched, and his hands tightened into fists on the arm of the chair. I smiled, drawing my thumb across his lips.    
“You looked so.. Intent, in the barn,” I whispered, watching his eyes widen. “I tried to leave, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Your hands, such purpose. Your face, this mask of intense desire.”   
He swallowed, and I ran my hands down his chest. My mouth hovering above his, I untied his pants. “What were you thinking of, there in the dark as you stroked,” my hand closed over his cock, “yourself out there, alone?” I asked softly. His eyes closed and his body shuddered. I gripped him, slowly stroking his hot arousal. His head fell back and I pressed a kiss to his neck. 

“Was your mind with someone you used to know? A love from the past who your body has not forgotten? Or has someone here caught your eye? A sprightly mage? A dashing little warrior?” I asked with my lips against his neck.    
“Or were your thoughts with me, the broken Inquisitor who dreams of you nightly?” 

His hand shot out, covering mine. His eyes opened.    
“My thoughts are never not.. On you,” he said roughly. I felt something loosen in my chest. “You are.. More than a passing fancy, you are a craving I cannot get enough of.” His hand began to move with mine, fingers gripping his shaft tightly as we stroked. My other hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. Amidst a tangle of tongues and teeth, I slowly drove him to the same heights he had taken me to all those nights before. He was shaking beneath me, his control fraying by leaps and bounds.    
He pulled his mouth from mine, and did the same with our hands. His hands moved to my hips, pulling me forward, and with a smooth motion, he had me settled over his cock, filling me completely. I started to shift my hips, rise and fall, taking him deeper still, his hand gripped my braid and pulled my face back to his. 

His eyes on mine, his mouth barely grazing my own, he whispered, “There is you. Only you. Forever.. You.” 

I nodded and his other hand moved between us, finding that little frenzied bundle of nerves, already all too eager. I moaned against his lips, as he effortlessly caressed me brainless. We moved faster, hands and bodies taking on a life of their own. My hands gripped the back of the chair, his face against my neck, the hand still holding my braid for all it was worth.    
Then… I was gone. I shuddered against him as I moaned with my release. He thrust quicker then, before pulling my still throbbing body down on his, grinding his pelvis against mine, pulsing deep inside me, grunting against my neck. I collapsed against him, and he laughed softly in my ear. “You saw everything,” he declared. I just lamely punched his shoulder, making him laugh again.    
“I knew you did, and I knew you enjoyed it,” he teased. I lifted my head to look at him. He looked very pleased with himself.

“Oh did I?” I asked, my hand smoothing his hair. He caught my hand and brought it to his lips.    
“Oh, aye. You fucking loved it.”   
I leaned over, pressing my lips to his ear. “Every second that I saw,” I whispered. He barked a laugh, and I knew we were alright. A little while later, he put me into the bed, lit the fire that had managed to die and climbed in beside me. I curled up against his side, my hand on his stomach. 

“I really have no idea how I ended up in your dream,” I said into the dark. I felt him shrug under my head. 

“It doesn't matter. Next time I'll be ready for you,” he said. I chuckled. “What if there is no next time?” 

“Oh there will be. You can't help yourself.”

I thought on it, and I figured he was right. He definitely had a pull, and I was drawn to him like none other. His hand grasped mine, fingers entwining over his stomach. I fell asleep listening to his heart. 

 

**Over the next few weeks we spent much time preparing for the masquerade at the Winter Palace. I kept Blackwall close, traipsing about Thedas with a little less anger at myself for being thrust into this role. He was an excellent anchor, this quiet bastion of support and love.  Every single day I fell a little more for him.**

**And every day I felt like there was something I was missing. I couldn't put my finger on it, but along the same lines, I didn't want to. Why upset the balance of something so brilliant and shiny and new?**


	2. Rue The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They attend a ball and we meet some family members. Things are revealed and someone disappears.

I stood at the railing on my balcony, staring out over the keep. I felt dirty, for all that it was worth. 

Halamshiral. A fucking mess, political intrigue, murder and chaos. So much needless death. All because some wench aspired become the right hand of a would-be God. I shuddered. I had left that stupid palace with more questions than I had arrived with. And not all of them were about Corypheus and his cohorts.

Blackwall. I had come upon him in a room away from everyone else at the palace, accosted by some masked fop who kept insisting he knew Blackwall from somewhere. And Blackwall had a fine sheen of sweat on his brow as he deflected the man time and again. 

 

*******

 

“Who was that?” I asked, taking his hand. He sighed and lifted my fingers to his lips. 

“No one special, I think. Had me confused for someone else,” he said with a wry smile. I tilted my head. “Are you alright?” I asked, straightening out his collar with my free hand. 

“I'm fine. I just hate parties like these,” he mumbled. I arched a brow. ”And here I was hoping I could persuade you to dance with me,” I said softly. His eyes fell to my chest, far too on display by the ridiculous dress they had gotten me to wear. A low neck, long sleeves and a barely covered back above a soft skirt. All in shades of gray and black with the red sash at my shoulder. 

“Maybe once we are finished with our task,” he hedged. I sighed and dropped his hand. I left him there without another word. Later on, upstairs, I watched the nobles dance the night away on the dance floor. We had found a slew of dead elves and managed to thwart an assassin running around. 

“Is a dance what you really want?” came that voice in my ear. I shivered. 

“Only with you,” I answered honestly. 

“You smell like sex and sin tonight,” he whispered. I laughed softly.

“And here I thought you hadn't noticed.”

“I notice everything about you. How your eyes have yet to stay still in this wretched room. How your pulse picked up when I whispered in your ear. Your lovely fist gripping your dress right now,” he said. 

I glanced at him, and what I saw there wasn't that irritation I found earlier. Lust painted his eyes, plain as day. I chewed my lip and he actually growled at me. I turned away and he pressed close to my back. 

“I've spent most of the evening avoiding you, because every time I see you, I get harder and harder,” and as if to emphasize, he pressed his cock against my butt, the heat intense even through our clothes. I almost expired on the spot. Heat pooled low in my belly. I turned my head and looked in his eyes. “We shall have to fix that soon won't we?”

He swallowed and rubbed a hand over his face. A muttered “Fuck” was all I heard before he walked away. 

A few hours later and we were not much closer to catching the assassin. Florianne had cornered me into a dance with her, and much to my surprise Blackwall had watched the entirety. Cullen, Josephine and Leliana had accosted me as I left the dance floor. I stalled them and went in search of him. 

I found him in a small anteroom, empty but for a chaise lounge chair and an oddly placed table. “What a waste of a room,” I declared as I closed the door behind me. I flipped the little lock.

“What are you doing?” he asked me with a sigh. 

“I am tired of you ignoring me,” I declared, crossing my arms under my breasts. 

“I haven't ignored a moment of tonight,” he muttered. I may have rolled my eyes then, but within a moment, my body was pressed back against the door, his holding me there.

“What is this game?” he asked, his hands pressed against the wood on either side of my head.

“No game. Never a game for you and I,” I said, licking my lip. His eyes narrowed.

“Here?” 

“Did I lock the door for a conversation and a how do you do?” I asked with a shrug. His mouth hovered over mine. 

“Here,” he said again, less question this time. I nodded. No further encouragement was needed. His mouth dipped to mine, lips eager and willing, his beard warm against my chin.

My own lips opened under his, tongue inviting. Ah he tasted of chocolate and whiskey. Fire raced through my veins, making my heart dance about in my chest. I rubbed my hands down his stomach, over his pants, making him growl into my mouth. He pulled his mouth from mine, hooking a finger in the top of my dress, pulling it down. His satisfied grunt when my breasts were freed, ah it made my stomach clench. First his hands caressed me, gently, nearly reverent. Then his mouth, sucking me deep between his lips, making me moan. He pulled away, hands moving to my shoulders and turning me to face the door. I heard the rustle of his clothes, my own hands pulling up my dress. His hitched breath when he realized I was bare beneath the dress was priceless. His hand gripped my butt, his knee nudging my legs apart. 

“Such a sight, you naked against a door in the Winter palace. Your thigh glistens with your want,” he said gruffly. 

“Blackwall,” I whined. He chuckled, rubbing his cock against my arousal. His lips touched my ear.

“Am I really doing this here?” he said softly. 

“No, you're fucking teasing me instead of just taking me,” I hissed, pressing my butt back against him. 

It was like I flipped a switch. His answering growl made my knees weak, his left arm snaking around my chest and gripping my right breast. His right hand moving around my hip and between my legs to caress me as he shifted our hips, finally sliding into me. My heart skidded to a stop as he just stayed there, hips against my butt, cock deep inside me and his hands still on my body. I was throbbing with need, nearly ready to beg when he finally moved. His body trembled against mine, heart racing against my back. 

My hot breath fogged the wood on the door with every exhale, my eyes closing as I gave in to all of those feelings I was desperate for. My hips met his, thrust for thrust, his cock digging deeper with each. I writhed between his body and the door, my hand gripping his between my legs. 

“More,” I whispered, begged. Demanded.

His fingers renewed their efforts, his breath dancing over my shoulder. “How do you make,” he ground out, “me forget everything?” 

I laughed, before I moaned. This litany of silly words fell from my face, please’s and Blackwall… More begging. 

Then… I fell. This long low sound escaped me, my body wracked with tremors in the wake of the orgasm. Wave after delicious wave, my body clutching at his, his hand gripping me tighter the closer he came to his own release. His voice was rough when he finally spent, like fire inside me. Hips digging deep, cock pulsing wildly. His head fell to my shoulder as we stood there twitching against the now warm wood. 

“You make me do the damnedest things,” he muttered. 

“And you wouldn't have me any other way,” I replied with a soft laugh. He kissed my shoulder. “We should finish our mission,” he said, effectively popping the bubble. 

“I'm aware,” I said, my hands pushing me away from the door. He pulled out of me and set about fixing himself. I righted my dress and couldn't even look at him again before I left the room.

Shortly thereafter we did, indeed, manage to catch Florianne in her plot to kill her cousin. I managed to out her in front of the entire ballroom, unleashing all of my ire at her, my ire at Blackwall and at the entire situation, all in one fell swoop. The ballroom attendees watched with avid fascination. Later, after I had her arrested, roped the 3 vying parties into working together under my heel, and welcomed Morrigan into the Inquisition, I took a moment outside by myself. 

I stared off into the night, wondering why I felt so off. A throat cleared behind me. I turned, expecting Blackwall. But I found my oldest brother instead. Shock turned my blood cold. 

“Astor,” I said coldly. 

“Ah, still mad then Bray?” he said with a sad smile. I raised my eyebrow. 

“Mad? Whatever for?” I asked, hiding my left hand behind my skirt. It ached. My whole body ached.

“What if I said you were right?” he asked, stepping towards me. I took a step back. His dark hair was peppered with gray now, new wrinkles around his dark eyes. 

“Pah. We both knew I was right from the beginning. Is father still mad?” I asked, looking away.

“Oh he'll be mad forever. You cost him a great deal of money and a decent family friend at that,” he answered honestly. I sighed. 

“Go home, Astor.”

“You know there will be consequences.”

I turned to him. 

“Then let there be consequences. I'm never going back. Even if the Inquisition dies. Even if I lose everything here, I will never. Go. Back.”

“You can't just walk away from this,” he said, his anger starting to show. 

“I would rather die than go back,” I hissed. He closed his eyes, shaking his head.

“Why must you be so damn dramatic?” 

“Dramatic? This.. This isn't drama, Astor. This is my  _ life _ ! You.. You all tied me to a man who murdered his last wife! A man who has obvious relations with his poor daughter. He attacked me before we were even betrothed! I still bear the scar!” 

“He said you were lying!”

I took a breath, trying to calm the pain and rage churning in my stomach. “I feel sorry for your children, brother. I pray, every single day, that they never come to fear you the way I did. The way I feared you all. But see, I've grown since I left. I'm not that fearful child I was, running for her life. Now? I run the fucking Inquisition. Tell father that his daughter is no more. Lanetta Renee Trevelyan has ceased to exist.”

He scoffed, swinging out his hand to grab my arm. I didn't even feel myself move, but before his hand connected with my skin, I had a dagger at his throat. “Never again will any of you touch me. I am no longer yours. Do you understand me, Astor?” I asked quietly. His eyes were wide, sweat coating his pale face. “I used to think the world of all of you. Big, strong men. My brothers, my father. Little did I know how truly weak you all are. I've killed  _ dragons, _ brother. I alone, have walked in the fade and lived to tell the tale. You? You sold your sister like a whore so you could keep your pretty house and your two garrish mistresses happy.” I pressed the tip of my dagger against his skin, nearly laughing at the single bead of blood that welled at the tip. 

“You,  _ brother _ , are not a man. You are a travesty. And your father is no better. If I see any of you again, you won't be walking away whole,” I said, shoving him away from me. He bent at the waist, taking gulping breaths. “What happened to you?” he gasped, his hand at his neck. 

I laughed. “I  _ lived.  _ After Lord Burton attacked me, and you all told me to stop lying, I left. Joined a mercenary band and learned how to defend myself. I was hired to protect mages at the Conclave and was the sole survivor. They almost killed me for that alone. But I was the only one with the key to save the world and so I did. While you fucked those two amazingly awful women, I was dying on a cot in a dungeon. I barely lived, by the magic of an elf of all people. An elf who was kinder to a dying human than her entire family was. I lived, Astor. Which is more than anyone can ever say of you and your selfish brothers.”

He sneered at me. “I saw you tonight, panting after that bearded man. You are no innocent, Lanny.”    
I laughed. “He’s a thousand times the man you will ever be,” I said softly. “You should leave now, Astor. While you can,” I added. He looked me in the eye, and whatever he saw there finally convinced him I was done messing around. He turned to leave and nearly walked into Blackwall. I felt the blood drain from my face. “Enjoying my sister? You do know who she is?” Astor sneered.

Blackwall grabbed my brothers coat, lifting him off his feet. “She is the Herald of Andraste, and the Inquisitor. You will respect her, or I will have you thrown into the dungeons. Is that clear?” Blackwall growled. Astor nodded, as well as he could. Blackwall dropped him to the ground, and Astor crumpled to his knees. He threw me one last look, “This isn’t over, not by a long shot. Once I tell father you live, there will be hell to pay. I promise it,” he grumbled, and Blackwall shoved him with his boot. He fell over then climbed to his feet hastily, before running back inside. I stood there in shock.    
“Six years,” I said. 

“Since?” Blackwall asked, approaching me slowly. 

“Since Lord Burton tried to rape and kill me,” I said, turning away, wrapping my arm around my stomach. I dropped my dagger and just stood there, cold to my core. 

I heard him walk up behind me. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly, his hands taking my shoulders. I stiffened when he pulled me back against his chest. 

“Why?” I asked. 

“Why what?” 

“Why were you so cold tonight?” I asked quietly. 

“Because I really hate it here. Manipulations and lies and no one ever tells the truth to your face and it's horrid.” 

I took a breath, turning and facing him. “I don't like it either, but this was the life I was born into. I'm not going to get away from it, I’m afraid.” He kissed my forehead, and his eyes twinkled when we heard the music start back up. 

“My lady,” he said, pulling away from me to bow, holding out his hand. I felt that familiar flutter in my stomach and took his hand. He spun me into his arms, swirling me about on the balcony. Maybe the night wasn’t so bad after all. 

 

**A Few Days Later -**

 

I shook my head, bringing myself back to the balcony.

 

_ I’m still looking into it, Inquisitor _ .

 

The deflections were starting to anger me, not that I could change them. Leliana was supposed to be looking into the man at the ball, the one I had seen with Blackwall. I kept having these hyper-real dreams. Standing on the edge of a cliff, holding something exceedingly precious in my hands, but no matter how hard I tried to hold it, it seemed to disintegrate and run through my fingers. I would stand there, heartbroken when my hands were cradling nothing but air.    
I had awoken to that one more than once in the last week. I looked back at my bed. He laid there, his hand curled on my pillow, the sheet barely covering his vital parts. A smattering of scars covered him, some new, some very old. I felt my stomach tense, even just watching him. He looked.. Almost at peace. If not for that tiny furrow between his eyebrows. The one I could never quite get rid of, no matter how I tried to distract him. My fingers curled into my palm.    
I was beginning to love him. The enigma that slept in my bed, bearded wonder. He made my heart sing. Drove my fears back and left me breathless time and again. I could feel him pulling away though.    
His new distance was like a tiny knife in my heart.    
And still… I said nothing. To anyone, save Leliana. I hadn’t even told Dorian.    
Just as I hadn’t told any of them about Astor at the ball. About Lord Burton. My father. My brothers. I shuddered. I was fairly sure they would be sending someone for me eventually. And the only person who knew any of it was pulling away. 

I turned back to looking out over Skyhold. The keep was mostly asleep, the few guards keeping watch the only movement, save a cat here or there. I looked down at my hand, that eerie faint green glow a little more prevalent than it was before. The aching was getting worse too, some days making me want to just chop the damn thing off to escape it. To think, not 2 hours before, I had it wrapped around Blackwall’s cock, making him tremble at my hands. I looked back to the bed again before walking back to it. I took off the shirt I had stolen from the floor, and climbed back into the bed beside him. He pulled me close in his sleep, curling up against my back, his body amazingly warm, and his hand circling my chest anchoring me to him.    
“You alright?” he mumbled into my hair, his voice more rough than usual from sleep. 

“I’m fine,” I answered quietly, hoping he would drop it.    
“How come I don’t believe you?” he muttered. I shrugged.   
“Go back to sleep,” I said. He snuggled closer and I felt another piece of my soul abandon me for him. 

 

The next morning I awoke alone in the bed, his side cold. I sighed, climbing from the bed. I stretched, relishing the soreness in my thighs. The tenderness between them. I went to my closet, yawning, to dress. I picked a new tunic I had gotten from a rather engenius woman in Val Royeaux. White gossamer wings embroidered onto black brocade, with a panel up the middle of the stomach that was made of the sheerest satin. It was soft, decadent and sure to get his attention. I paired it with a pair of shiny new black leather pants, black boots and as per usual, my many daggers I hid all over my body.    
Self defense, I told myself. But more, it was my only real hope if my father succeeded.    
  
_ “If you leave, Lanetta, you walk out that door, you will rue the day,” he had threatened from the floor. I had stumbled into his home study, the blood still welling from the gash in my cheek.  _

_ “Wha...what? Are you serious?” I asked, still shocked at his disbelief. Today.. Was not a good day.  _ _   
_ _ Lord Burton had attacked me. In my own bedroom of all places.  _

_ ‘Your brother let me in, as a pre-wedding celebration,’ he had leered. I said no. He tried to convince me, with his cane. Then his fist, with his garish emerald ring that left a deep bloody furrow on my face.  _ _   
_ _ “Father! I’m not lying!” I exclaimed, shock making my stomach cold. My shirt was torn and I was pretty sure where that bastard had hit me with his cane was going to hurt for months.  _ _   
_ _ My father sat there behind his desk, staring at me coldly. “You will go apologize to the man, and do as he bids. You are just a daughter, you have no say in this.” _ _   
_ _ I almost screamed at him. “Father, I’m a grown woman, not a child to be bartered away.” _ _   
_ _ “You are nothing, do as you are told,” he ordered. I straightened my back.  _ _   
_ _ “No.” _ _   
_ _ “What did you say?” he asked, slowly climbing to his feet. His mousy brown hair was nearly all gray now, his flabby face no longer strong and handsome as it had been when I was a child. He.. was not the man I thought he was.  _ _   
_ _ “You sold me to him, didn’t you?” I asked quietly.  _ _   
_ _ “We have an arrangement, yes. Stop being dramatic, fall in line. Pull your weight, as the rest of us have.” _ _   
_ __ I laughed then. Bitter and cruel, but I couldn’t stop it. “You are mistaken if you think I will marry that horrid excuse for a man,” I said. 

_ “Do. As. You’re. Told. You ungrateful little bitch,” he hissed at me, walking out from behind his desk.  _ _   
_ _ But there.. In my stomach, was not that usual ball of fear.  _ _   
_ _ Fury. Fury danced in my veins as I realized I was really nothing to them. I stood my ground as he approached me.  _ _   
_ _ “No,” I said one more time. Something ugly and hateful flashed in his eyes as he swung his hand out to hit me. My foot kicking his leg out from under him caught him by surprise, and the crashing sound he made as he hit the study floor was nearly satisfying. I looked down at him.  _ _   
_ __ “I’m leaving,” I told him. “I am taking my inheritance from my mother, which as you and I both know you have no control over. And I am leaving. Fuck all of you,” I said sadly, turning to leave. His voice had stopped me at the door.

_ “If you leave, Lanetta, you walk out that door, you will rue the day,” his voice was menacing.  _

_ “Wha… what? Are you serious!?” _

_ “Beyond serious, just test me,” he growled.  _

_ “I already rue the day, father. Every day. I rue you. And them. Nothing new.” I had closed the door quietly behind myself, turning the key I had stolen weeks before, in the lock to keep him there. I had dashed upstairs, grabbed what few things were fully mine, a few pairs of clothes, my jewelry from my mother’s side of the family, and my little dagger my grandfather had given me. I had packed it all and left without a second glance.  _ _   
_ _ 2 days later I had run into bandits on the road, and managed to kill one before taking a dagger in my own thigh for my trouble. An older gentleman had found me, taken me to his camp and with the help of a healer, I was right as rain. Parcel was the older mans name. He ran a small mercenary company, and offered me a position in it. I had taken it, as I was nearly out of ready cash and they seemed a step up from my family.  _ _   
_ __ They became my family over the next few years. We were one of the few companies out there with scruples, and we had a decent reputation. That was how I had wound up at the Conclave. The rest.. As you know, is history. 

_ If only… _

 

I went about my business for the day, trying to keep myself occupied. Until a messenger came. For me. From Ostwick. I felt my stomach tense. I took it up to the battlements, where there were no guards, and ripped the envelope open.    
  
**_Inquisitor Trevelyan -_ **

**_I regretfully inform you that your father, Bann Samuel Trevelyan, has passed away. I am the executor of the estate, as there were things set forth by his parents, and yours mothers, that I have to deal with now upon his passing._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Firstly, the Trevelyan side of the family has left you a manor house, complete with staff and a comfortable sum to live on. The rest of the family is unaware of this property, as it isn’t in Ostwick, but on an island in Rivain._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Secondly, your mother’s parents, they left an account for you in Val Royeaux. And, since it has been several years since they passed, the sum is likely much larger than originally planned. Your brother, Astor, is fighting to get me to reveal these things to him and your other brothers. I, however, have very strict instructions to burn my end of the documents. You have the originals now in your care, with this letter._

**_And.. since I was not hired by your father or brothers, I feel inclined to warn you. Your father found out you were alive some time ago, and he and the lord he had tried to betroth you to, were trying to hatch a plan to get you back to Ostwick._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I implore you, my lady, be safe and never return to that wretched place. Only misery awaits you there._ **

**_  
_ ** **_One last thing. Your mother left a sealed letter with me, to give to you on the event of your fathers death. It is included here. I have no idea of the contents, though I could hazard a guess._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Again, my lady, be safe. Your brothers will stop at nothing at this point. Your father had nearly depleted the family holdings in his hunt for you, and they’re desperate for money. Burton has promised it to them if you are returned._

**_I’m sorry if this troubles you, believe me. It has troubled me for years. I hope this finds you well, Inquisitor._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Lord Stanley Layton_

 

I stood there, holding the sheaf of papers. I was shocked.    
He was dead. After everything, he was gone. I stared off blankly at the mountains surrounding the keep. My heart had nearly stopped in my chest. 

My father. The tyrant Samuel Trevelyan. Dead.

My ears began to ring. I looked back at the papers in my hands. I flipped through them, and sure enough. Three wills. And a sealed letter.

I knelt on the stone, oblivious to the cold seeping through my pants. I gently broke the old wax seal, and pulled out the single paper inside.

 

**_My Darling Brazyn,_ **

**_Aye, I think of you as Brazyn, have since the day you saved me from those thieves when you were 14. I know I will be dead, my love, long before your father. And for that I deeply apologize. I’m not as strong as you, and their cruelty knows no real bounds. I pray daily that they will find the Maker and leave you in peace. But I also fear, daily, that they will not._ **

**_I have a few things for you. Revelations? Surprises?_ ** **_  
_ ** **_First, my parents left you the bulk of their estate when they passed on. Your brothers got measly stipends, which will transfer to your hands if and, Maker willing, when your father passes. The bank will have all of that information for you when you take them the will._ **

**_Second, as much as it shames me to admit this, you, my love, are not a Trevelyan at all._ **

 

I gasped and dropped the papers, watching with panic as they fluttered to the walkway. I squealed when a hand touched my shoulder, a dagger in my own before I could even think. Blackwalls hand caught my wrist, “What are you doing?!” he asked, shaking my arm. I shook my head, not even sure I could say it out loud. Blackwall took my dagger and knelt next to me. “What are all these?” he asked, pointing at the papers with said dagger. 

I looked back down, not really seeing them at this point. I tried to suppress the odd laughter I felt bubbling up out of my chest, clapping a hand to my mouth. “He’s dead,” I whispered into my palm. Blackwall reached up and pulled my hand down. “What?” he asked me gently.    
I took a breath, “My father. Bann Samuel-Worship-My-Feet Trevelyan, is dead,” I said softly. He kept my hand in his, his face softening.    
“I don’t even know what to feel, Blackwall,” I said.    
“Do you want to tell me?” he asked. I just looked up at him. So torn, this weirdly wounded soul of mine. I picked up my mothers letter. I read from the beginning, out loud.    
  
**_… you, my love, are not a Trevelyan at all. For almost a year, while your father whored around in Antiva and Denerim, I had an affair as well. He was a traveling teacher, teaching magic at the Circle here. A mage. From Tevinter. He was.. Fascinating. And strong. And everything a man should be, everything your ‘father’ pretended to be. He had special Chantry dispensation to live outside the circle, and rented one of the summer houses in our neighborhood. You got your exotic looks from him. Your pretty purple eyes, your black hair. His strength and heart. He loved me, and it nearly broke us both when he had to go back to Tevinter._ **

**_He’s still there, you know. I wrote him about you, and he asked endless questions in his various letters._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **_His name is Rene. He is very important where he lives. And, I think, if you wrote to him, he will want to see you._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Especially with Samuel gone._ ** **_  
_ ** **_I’m sorry I never told you. The only people who knew were my parents, even though Samuel suspected. I didn’t become pregnant until after he came home, so he was never really sure._ ** **_  
_ ** ****_I’m still sorry. And I love you. Beyond anything in this entire world, you are my soul, love. You, you gave me hope when I really had none left._

**_I hope your life has improved. I hope you find love. The kind of love that makes you want to topple mountains, that sleeps quietly in your heart and never lets you forget it’s there. Love that defies all odds. That is what I wish for you, even as I lay here dying._ ** **_  
_ ** **_You left my room. Not an hour ago. Your hair in a braid, your dress torn from another adventure or something. You had an argument with Astor and punched him in the nose. He probably deserved it, knowing him. You have this light in you, this brightness they haven’t destroyed. And I pray that it survives them, and follows you out into the world where you belong._ ** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Walk in the light, daughter._

**_Trust in the Maker._ **

**_And love. Love like there is no tomorrow._ **

 

**_Love, always and forever,_ **

**_Mother, Celesta_ **

 

I was crying in earnest when I reached the bottom of the page. Blackwall set my dagger on the papers to keep them grounded, before pulling me into his arms. He held me while I quietly sobbed, my grief over losing her as raw as ever. A little bit later, after I had cried all I could, I still sat on his lap. His hands in mine, his body keeping mine warm. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked me quietly. I thought on that. Should I tell him? This one who was pulling away and taking my heart with him?

“My father is dead. He… He was a dictator of epic proportions. I used to worship him, when I was little and had no idea of the kind of man he really was. When I turned twelve, he started to change. Less the doting father, more the demanding one. My brothers took longer but when I was fourteen, my brother Merle, my mother and I were on our way home from the city, and 3 thieves set upon us.” His hands tightened on mine but he stayed quiet.

“My brother ran and my mother was sick. They were going to do things, and I couldn't let them. I took the decorative dirk we had bought for my other brother and when one of the men got close, I stabbed his leg, and after.. Let’s just say a strangely short skirmish, they were running. The one had cut my chin, I was bleeding and I felt gloriously alive, Blackwall. My mother, ah she was so proud of me in that moment. Astor called me a brazen wench when we got home hours later. And the name stuck.” 

“You were feisty. Still are, truth be told.” 

I shrugged. 

“I changed, bold and strong, and they changed. Cruel and wrong. I was no longer the little girl they could manipulate every which way. My mother sickened further the next year, and passed a few days after my name day. I was barely sixteen years old. That's when things really turned. By the time I was 19, I was afraid for my life. My oldest brother had married, this sappy sweet little mousy woman. He had two mistresses that were awful. My other brother, Merle, well it turns out he didn't like the ladies. Which was fine with my father as he wasn't the oldest son.”

I took a breath. “My middle brother, he's the quiet one. Avoided trouble, avoided everything. He, rather than standing up for me even though he wanted to, he left. Joined the chantry in Ostwick. I've never heard from him since.”

“Your family sounds like a pit of vipers,” he muttered in my ear. I laughed, low and bitter.

“Vipers don't know what they are, Blackwall. They live on instinct. My family? All too aware of their position. They know what they are. Lord Burton was a close friend of my father's. Offered him ridiculous amounts of money for my hand. I refused from the time I was sixteen, until just after my nineteenth birthday. My father drew up a betrothal contract without my consent, and Burton tried to come to my room to celebrate. He is a disgusting man. Fat and pale and he killed his first wife. He also molests his two daughters,” I said quietly. “He came into my room with his cane and tried to beat me into submission. I fought back. But not until after he used his cane on me twice and hit me with his stupid ring,” I lifted my hand to my cheek. “I went to my father and he told me to be a good little girl and listen. Then he tried to hit me too. I left after more ugly words were said and I've never looked back.”

Blackwell wrapped his arms around me. “I’m sorry they couldn't see what I see,” he said. I shrugged. 

“There's not much to see. I'm a simple person, even if my life is not.”

He actually snorted in my ear. “You're the least simple person I've met.” 

I shrugged. He hugged me. “Lets go get a drink,” he said. I moved off of his lap and gathered my things. He helped me up and after a quick kiss to my forehead he led me through the keep to the tavern. Surprisingly there weren't many people there. He snagged us two stools at the bar and we quietly drank. We talked about life and things that could happen after we defeated Corypheus. He seemed so sad. I took him back to the barn, to the quiet in the dark and undressed him in silence. 

But once naked, gone was the gentle. Teeth and fingers, gripping and needy. He seemed nearly desperate, hands reverent and greedy all at once. I pushed him back onto his bed, my hands claiming his cock. His growl when I wrapped my lips around him slithered through my body. He wrapped a hand in my hair, his hand on my head as I drove him wild with my tongue, sucking him deep and deeper into my mouth. 

Moments?

Hours later? I finally pulled my mouth away when he was trembling and begging. He grabbed me and with a twist he had my back pressed against the bed. He knelt between my legs, cock at the ready to take me. His eyes flicked over my face, his expression raw and something I couldn't quite put my finger on. 

“Look at me when I take you,” he whispered into the dark. I nodded, grasping his hand to my chest to feel my heart race harder as he slowly penetrated me. He grinned, feral and dark. “Your eyes go all wild when I'm inside you, did you know that? Your heart is fair to beating out of your chest and your eyes are dark and dangerous.” He shifted his hips, dove a little deeper. My skin felt scorched, my heart stretched and thin. 

I reached up and ran my finger down his face. His eyes changed, darkened almost. His head fell to my chest as he thrust again and again, desperation in his grip on my hip. And when he took us over the edge, the fall was sweet and sharp, our low cries mingling in the night. He eventually relaxed on top of me, my free hand lazily rubbing his rapidly cooling back. 

“Blackwall?” I said quietly. He lifted his head and shook it. “Just let me hold you,” he said, silencing me as he situated us on the bed. I fell asleep wondering why I felt like the best opportunity to tell him I love him had passed me by. 

 

A few hours later I felt his eyes on me and turned to face him. He was laying there watching me. I gave him a sleepy smile. “Hullo,” I mumbled. He kissed me, and quietly took me again, slow and achingly. I fell asleep again with his head on my chest and my heart in his hand.

 

When I awoke in the morning, the bed was empty save for myself. I laid there for a minute and thought back over the last few days. When I sat up, I saw his armor was laid out on a hay bale. I felt a cold ball form in my throat. I got up and walked to them, noting my dagger sitting there amongst it, shined and polished. I picked it up and ran my thumb across the blade. The small bead of blood that welled up nearly blinded me with rage. I turned and found my clothes, dressing quickly and heading down into the main barn. I looked around and it felt wrong that he wasn't there. My heart was pounding in my ears when I saw the approaching scout.

One of Leliana’s men. 

“Inquisitor. Blackwall has left Skyhold.”

I squinted. “And?”

“The Nightingale wished me to give you this,” he said as he handed me a crumpled paper. One of her reports about a man on the run who was to be hung in Val Royeaux in a few days. I gave the scout another glare. “Get Dorian, Bull and Cassandra please. Have them meet me here in half an hour. I'm saying this as the Inquisitor.” I ordered. He saluted and ran off, leaving me to the empty barn. I turned and looked around again. I had a sudden urge to burn it all. Rage churned in my belly. 

_ Just another betrayal! _ Slithered through my head like an evil litany. 

I turned and went into the keep via the kitchen stairs. By the time I had gotten to my room I was in an odd state of calm. Until I looked at my palm when I went to change. Bloody crescent marks on my palm told a different story.

I changed into a black long sleeved tunic, dark gray leather vest and pants, black boots and copious weapons. I braided and tucked my hair up and headed out of the tower.

Twenty minutes later the other 3 were joining me. I explained in very terse terms where we were going. And I couldn't even explain why. 

But I knew it was imperative we get there quickly.

So I could either kill Blackwall myself.

Or save the man I loved with every dark little fiber of my heart.


	3. Do You See? The Real Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brazyn chases Blackwall to Val Royeaux, and learns a stunning truth. In the aftermath she makes choices that may or may not, make or break her relationship with him.   
> After their trip to Adamant, things take a turn.

**Val Royeaux -**

 

I stood there behind the crowd, my cloak up and over my head. I could see the wooden platform, the nooses. The crowd was chanting and cheering as the city guards pulled an older man up the stairs.  A man accused of treason and murder. I had never seen him before, though I could tell he was fairly broken at this point. Resigned even.    
I remember feeling that way. My fist clenched at my side. 

“Do you have anything to say in your defense?” the masked guard asked the man. The man just stood there, silent.“

Very well,” the masked guard said, motioning for the others to bring the man forward. Soon the noose was around his pale neck, horror on his gaunt face. 

"STOP!" came that all too familiar voice. Blackwall walked up the stairs of the platform, his booted feet heavy. Something dark clutched at my heart as I watched him.   
"A grey warden," scoffed the guard.

"This man is innocent of the crimes laid before him." Blackwall spoke out, facing the amused crowd. "Orders were given, and he followed them like any good soldier. He should not die for that mistake!"   


The guard stepped forward, "Then find me the man who gave the order." His tone was belligerent.   


Silence.   


Blackwall looked at the crowd, and I stepped forward, dropping my hood. "Blackwall!" I yelled out, fear gripping my chest.   


His shoulders fell. "No. I am not Blackwall. I never was Blackwall." He looked skyward, "Warden Blackwall is dead, and has been for years. I assumed his name to hide, like a coward, from who I really am."   


The man in the noose spoke up, "You.. After all this time.."   


"It's over. I'm done hiding." He faced me, squares his chest. "I gave the order. The crime is mine. I am Thom Rainier."    


A collective gasp tore through the crowd, shocked shouts and a few wails. I stood there, stunned. Thom looked away from me, following the guards when they moved to arrest him. I stood there for almost an hour, as the crowd moved away, and the guards released the man in the noose.    


Cassandra put her hand on my arm, pulling me away from the square. We wound up in a townhouse, belonging to some dignitary that owed Josie. I paced the drawing room, waiting for Leliana to show up with Cullen in tow. Cullen left me to go talk to the Constable, and Leliana explained what little she did know about Black… Rainier.    


Thom. Fucking. Rainier.    


Why wasn’t it the slightest bit surprising? He had been off since the Winter Palace. In reality, he had been off since our first kiss. Like he felt immensely guilty for something.    
Leliana laid it out for me, that Rainier had been caught in a plot between nobles, been ordered to do something that wound up killing some innocent people. She didn’t have much more than that to go on. 

  
  


**Brazyn went and visited him in the guarded cells beneath the city. He baldly laid out his crimes, word for word. Brazyn stoically took it. She couldn't even say she was surprised. He tried to push her off, tell he he deserved death as his punishment.**

**She had other plans. She used Josephine to get him moved back to Skyhold for sentencing.**

**And much to the shock and dismay of everyone, she freed him.**

**He had spent years atoning for his mistakes, years in which he helped countless people. And what made it worse, he wasn't atoning for only his misdeeds, but his Commander as well, seeing as he had been following orders in the first place.**

 

**Many tried to talk her out of it. But she stood her ground and Thom was free..**

  
  


I stood on the bridge to Cullen’s office, staring down at the barn. Not three hours ago I had pardoned Thom Rainier. And against everyone else's wishes, I had not sent him to the Wardens. 

Apparently I was selfish and naive.

“You're letting a murderer go free!”

“How can you trust him after all that?!”

All valid points. But none came close to the fact that since I had met him, every act he had committed had been selfless. Not once had he tried to better his situation, or station. He had willingly slept in a decrepit barn, and carved toys for the local children in his down time. I had found him helping random farmers save their belongings and stand up for themselves.

Those were not the acts of a self centered man. 

I understood his pain. Following orders that had ultimately led him down a path of ruin. 

How many years had I blindly listened to my ‘father’? Hung on his every word as if it were gospel truth straight from Andraste’s lips? 

It took courage for Thom to go forward and take responsibility. When in all reality the one who should have paid was the Duke who hired him in the first place.

Wars are messy things, both on and off the battlefields. Tossing humans and their lives about is heady for some, and far more daunting for others, especially for people like me who never wanted a position of power to begin with.

The fact that I seemed fairly adept at running the Inquisition, with my advisors and Cassandra at my side, that was just amazing. 

My heart nearly stopped when .. Blackwall? Thom. I sighed. He stood at the big side door, his face really unreadable from here. But his shoulders were back, and he no longer looked so defeated. I wanted to hug him. And yell at him. I slapped my fist on the bridge wall and turned on my heel, going back inside. 

I stalked to my room, and changed into clothes I could exercise in. Making my way back downstairs, I found my way out behind the keep. I had absconded with several training dummies, intent with keeping up my training. I had a feeling my brothers and Lord Tub-ton wouldn't be patient, and I couldn't  _ not _ prepare myself for the worst.

I began with punches and kicks, feigning dodges and parries. My body fell into a rhythm, heavy breathing and the steady thwack of my limbs against the wood of the dummies. It was like a haze fell over my mind, and all I felt was the satisfying pain of each hit. When the top half of the dummy exploded with splinters, the head flying into the keep wall, I just stood there, my chest heaving. My hand was throbbing, my mind reeling. 

What if he had  _ wanted _ to go to the Wardens? 

Would I be able to let him go? Fear trickled down my sweat covered spine.

I grabbed my jug of water and dashed back inside. In my tower again, I stripped to my undershirt and approached the basin of cool water on my dresser. My hands throbbed and when I dipped them I to the water I almost cried. Then I was crying. Crying for the innocent and the ones who had only followed orders. For Thom and his need to repent. And for myself, because I had selfishly thought to keep him without any real concern for what he might want instead. 

This whole crying like a weak human thing was beginning to grate.

I didn't even know if he actually loved me.

I did.. Know that I loved him. Beyond reason. He made me crazy. And want things I had given up on wanting a long time ago. Home. And a family. A future. He made me want those moments that I saw in other couples. Walking hand in hand. Whispers at parties that brought about gales of laughter. That insatiable need to be alone just for a few moments. The reassurance that one was not alone in this ugly world, that you had a reliable partner through thick and thin.

I felt odd for all those wants. They went against that hard angular, well honed weapon inside me. Against the anger and the need to run and never look back. 

I laughed at the water turning pink from the blood on my hands. I swiped my arm over my face, sniffing and sighing. 

I needed to talk to him without an audience. But I didn't know what to say. ‘Do you want to join the Grey Wardens?’ seemed a little too pointed. Like I  _ wanted _ him to go. When in reality I wanted anything but. 

I jumped when a throat cleared behind me, nearly knocking the basin onto the floor. I turned and he stood there, simple shirt and pants, his boots planted on the floor by the stairs. It took effort to not hunch my shoulders. To not look away like I felt guilty. 

“Yes?” I asked, my voice husky. 

“Are you hiding?” he asked me, his voice quiet. I shook my head.

“Not hiding. Maybe waiting? I don't even know,” I said honestly, turning back to my hands, hoping he wouldn't see I had been crying. I pulled them from the dirty water, grabbing the cloth and ignoring the sharp pain as I gingerly dried them. 

I opened the dresser and pulled out the healing salve Dorian had given me. I tried opening the jar, but my hands would not cooperate. With a fierce blush, I walked to Thom and handed him the jar. Wordlessly, he opened it and held it away from me. He motioned to the bed, where I moved to sit. He kept the jar, applying the salve to my hands, quietly tsking at me. 

When he was finished, he took the jar and put it away it away in the dresser. He pulled out a couple thin strips of cloth and brought them to the bed. He stood between my legs, gently wrapping each hand. I sighed. 

“Did I do the wrong thing?” I asked, watching my hands.

“How so?” he replied, sitting next to me again. 

“Did.. Did you want to die? To join the Wardens at Weisshaupt?” I couldn't look at him.

“Did you want me to?”

“Stop parrying me with more questions!” I hissed. 

He chuckled. My eyes shot to his and I was surprised. 

“I thought you would hate me,” he said then. I shook my head, “How could you think.. That of all things? After everything?”

“Who wouldn't hate a man who had done such as I?”

“Someone who already loves said man,” I whispered. His hand tucked beneath my chin, lifting my face. 

“I’d have gone anywhere you sent me. Then I probably would have come back. How could I go when I love you too?”

My heart nearly stopped. “Could you repeat that?”

“Brazyn, you heard me.”

“I did. But I want to hear it again,” I said, the beginnings of a smile on my face. He pulled me closer, his eyes roving over my face. “I love you, you ridiculous woman.” 

I grinned, “Are you sure about that? I'm not exactly an easy…” but my voice was cut off by his lips claiming mine. A quick, simple kiss. 

“Shut up,” he muttered, his lips on mine. My hand gripped his shirt, heedless of any pain. He proceeded to show me. Three times.

 

**A Week Later -**

 

We were in a tent, on the way to Adamant fortress. Thom shared mine, Bull and Dorian shared another. I laid here, watching him sleep. That furrow between his brows? It was nearly gone. Barely a remnant to remind me it had been there for months. Maybe even years.

“Why are you not sleeping?” he quietly asked, startling me.

“Because sometimes brains don't quiet enough to sleep?”

A grey eye opened. “You have to be exhausted. Get some sleep,” he suggested. I sighed, rolling onto my stomach next to him. He kissed my shoulder, a hazy look on his face. 

“Are you going to be alright?” I asked him.

“I'm not the one with sleeping problems..” 

I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged a hairy shoulder. “I'm worried. Rightfully so if their reports are correct. A keep full of demon wielding mages, and if Erimond is there.. ugh.”

“You sound like Cassandra.”

I gasped.

“No I don't!” 

He laughed. It was a good sound, soothing that ragged fear I'd been holding onto. He rolled to his back, scratching his bare chest. “You know, I'm all awake now,” he mused, his voice rough. I leaned up on my elbow. 

“And?”

“There are other ways to pass the time…” he suggested. I pretended to think, only to be pulled on top of him. I kissed his chin once I was settled, straddling his hips. He kissed me softly. 

“Can you be quiet, my lady?” he teased. I shrugged, moving to sit up and scoot back. I shifted, pulling the blanket aside and he grabbed it, pillowing his head, watching me. His cock was already beginning to harden, laying on his belly. I trailed a finger down the underside, making him twitch. His eyes were dark, but I could feel his heat. His breath hitched when I took him in my hand, gently stroking him at first. 

His hand tensed on his belly as I leaned down and gently licked him, from sac to tip. I watched his face as I began to ardently worship him.

My hand guiding my mouth, my tongue tasting every inch of his cock. Tasting and teasing, sucking him deep and stroking him again.. and again. 

His hips began to pump, thrusting his cock further into my mouth, his eyes closed and jaw tight. A hand gripped my hair, lifting my mouth from him. “I refuse to spend in your delectable mouth,” he grumbled, pulling me up his chest. I took his offered lips, smiling against his mouth as I straddled his hips again. His cock pressed against my own arousal, hot and throbbing. I shifted my hips, rubbing myself over his cock and he groaned into my mouth. I lifted my head, hair falling around us as I watched his face.

“Like that, do you?” I mused softly. I did it again and he trembled. My forehead fell to his as I did it again, then once more. I was chewing on my lip, lost in what it felt like to have him there, spread out beneath me and as needy as myself. His hands found my hips, guiding my easy glide over his cock, and his grin when I gripped his arm and swallowing a cry I came swift and hard. 

While I sat there throbbing and twitching, he lifted me and slid inside me. I gave this low breathy moan and he clenched his jaw. After a minute, I sat up, with him still buried deep. He looked up at me, his hands sliding up my sides to each fill with a breast. My hands joined his, and I began to move. Gyrating my hips, I rode him in near silence. The friction of his pelvis and my clit was incredible, making me nearly mindless with need. His cock throbbed, his hands hot on my chest. 

And my heart sped away, my head falling back as I lost myself in all that was  _ him _ .

And when I crossed that line, my body selfishly claiming it's pleasure, he joined me. A whispered plea from me, a  low rumble in his chest, his hands falling to my hips, my own falling forward to catch myself on his chest. Trembles. Twitches. Throbs and sighs. I collapsed on top of him, chest to chest as our hearts still raced. 

He rubbed his hands up my arms, taking a shaky breath. I finally rolled off of him, curled up against his side. And fell asleep for the first time in three days.

 

**\-----**

 

**_“Do you really think she will ever fully trust you again? Thom.. no.. Gordon? Noo.. betrayer. You are warming her bed until she moves on.”_ **

 

**\-----**

 

**_“Are you sure he really wants to stay? Be your lap dog for eternity as you traipse across Thedas, pretending to matter. He'll tire of you, as your family did.”_ **

 

**\-----**

 

**_“Did you really think joining the Inquisition would make up for what you and your brother unleashed upon the world, Varric? No amount of good deeds fixes the atrocity that is you.”_ **

 

**\-----**

 

**_“The Right Hand. And now you wish to be Divine. There is nothing Divine about your failing to save her. Justinia called out for you in the end, dying and bleeding. You couldn't save her and you can't save yourself.”_ **

 

**\-----**

 

**They found themselves in the Fade, after fighting through countless Wardens and demons at Adamant. Brazyn and Thom, Cassandra and Varric. They learned many things. Like the spirit that had helped Brazyn on her first venture into the Fade wasn't Divine Justinia at all, but a rather benevolent spirit instead.**

**They learned that fears are terrible and potent things in the hands of a demon that fed on them.**

**They fought through hordes of demons, the 4 along with Stroud and Hawke.**

**They listened to Hawke and Stroud argue about the folly of the Wardens, blood magic and more.**

**By the time they reached the Nightmare demon, they were exhausted and done. Another long bloody battle, after which not everyone escaped the demon. Stroud insisted on staying behind…**

 

**Varric looked ready to cry when he saw Hawke fall out of the rift, and down right pleased when Brazyn did. Thom stood there, stoic as she delivered a brave speech about Wardens and their still positive presence in Thedas.**

**And much to the ire of the Advisors - she took the Wardens back to Skyhold.**

**A few days after they returned home, Brazyn gave the Ambassadors instructions to send the Wardens out to help secure rift sites and such. She spent countless hours in meetings and listening to them talking at her. She also sent a letter to Tevinter. And planned a trip to Val Royeaux to visit the bank.**

 

Three weeks later, I stood outside the bank. Leliana and Josie on one side of me, Thom on the other. We had all figured the sooner we deal with this, the safer it would be for everyone. 

**\---**

When we walked out, I had to look back and see that the bank was indeed real. They took me to the cafe, sitting me at a table and getting me a drink.

I was in a daze. 

I had enough money at my disposal, to buy a small kingdom. I was indescribably rich. It was immensely ironic. 

It was also incredibly terrifying. 

I felt like this visit had painted a very huge target on my back. After we ate a quiet meal and opted to rent rooms for the night, I left the three of them there to fo up to mine and Thom's. There was a little private in, and we were there under false names to hide. 

**\-----**

But apparently that wouldn't be enough.

 

I laid on the bed, after undressing and stealing a shirt from his pack. I was dozing off when I heard a sound outside the balcony door. As I turned to look, a strange fog drifted into the room through the open window. I reached for my dagger under my pillow, but whatever was in that fog was faster than my hand. As my fingers closed over the hilt,  my eyes could not stay open. I couldn't even lift my head.

Darkness swam in front of my eyes.. 

And the world faded to black.

 

**\-----**

 

I awoke to someone tapping my face. My chest felt heavy, my arms numb and unable to move. I groaned, lifted my head and blinked in the dim light. A hooded figure bent over me, smelling like embrium and fire. I blinked a few times, shaking my head to try and clear whatever it was they had done to me.

The person standing there lowered their hood and I snorted when I saw my brother. He slapped me. The instant bloom of pain in my face as nothing compared to the punch of rage I felt.

“Hello, brother,” I sneered. 

“Hello, whore.”

I laughed. 

“That's actually funny, coming from you.”

He glared at me. I shrugged my shoulder. I looked down, pleased to see I at least still had Thom's shirt on. I tossed my hair out of my face with a flick of my head. 

“To what do I owe this insanely disappointing pleasure?” 

He balled his fist, stepping towards me. I glared up at him, not bothering to flinch. “You owe us, Lanny.”

I frowned at that. “What a terrible thing to say, you know that's not my name. I go by 'Inquisitor’ now. You know, the one thing standing between death, chaos and the people of Thedas.”

He waved his hand, dismissing my claims.

“They'll get by fine without you.”

I laughed again.

“You have no idea what's actually happening in the world, do you?” I asked. 

“All I know is, father died and our money is gone. You owe me, you little bitch.”

I just stayed silent at that.

He got in my face, smelling of stale smoke and the embrium cream he used for his aches. “You'll marry him. And be a good little girl.”

I chomped my teeth towards his nose and he squealed, falling back onto his ass. 

“I'll kill myself before I marry that asshole.”

“You won't have that chance.” He said it as he huffed himself to his feet. He snapped and a woman stepped into the room. I could feel her magic. The sickly pull on the fade. And even as I yelled at her to stop, fog rolled out of her hands and I was gone again..

 

**Val Royeaux -**

 

Thom paced his room, waiting on word from Leliana. He fairly leapt at the door when a knock sounded. However his angry growl at the man standing there made the man raise an inky black eyebrow. 

Violet eyes stared back at him. His jaw dropped.

“You're her father,” he breathed. The man nodded. 

“I am Rene. Rene Tarmon. And apparently I was too late, if your aggravated state tells me anything. My man in Ostwick was drugged and unable to inform me when they left. I've been… watching them for a while.” 

Thom gestured to let the man enter. He had long dark hair, peppered with silver. Startling purple eyes. He wore a black and silver robe, simple jewelry adorning his neck and hands. He walked to the fire in the room and stared down into it.

“You must be the ah, man, she rescued from himself. She mentioned you in her letter to me. It would be a bigger pleasure to meet you but we don't have much time. Her brother is working with some excessively unsavory people, and her life is in danger if we don't move quickly.”

“How do you know all of this?” Thom asked, slamming the door.

“Because… I've always kept an eye on her. I couldn't get to her in time when her brother sold her to that butcher. But, I helped her find the mercenaries. And other small things. I knew she would eventually learn about me. But I wanted to be there anyways. In small ways.”

He put his hands on the mantle, closing his eyes. “She.. she is magnificent. And so much like me it's terrifying. I have a way that we can save her. But it will involve magic and your Spymaster.”

Thom raised an eyebrow. “You really have your fingers in all of the pies, don't you?”

The older man nodded. “You learn to keep in the know by any means necessary, especially when your only child was stuck living with a lecherous pig and his sons.”

“Why didn't you go take her?!” 

“Because if I did, she would have lost everything her mother had built for her.”

Thom heaved a sigh, his hand tousling his already unruly hair. 

“What do we need to do?” The older man turned and gave him a crooked grin.

“Why, we play their game.”

 

**Brazyn -**

 

I laid there on the floor, where I had been unceremoniously tossed earlier. There was a sharp jagged pain in my chest when I breathed, fairly sure my ribs were damaged. I looked around, for anything I could use as a weapon. I recognized the cell I was in. Ironic that I would end up here again. My hands were bound behind me. My feet tied as well. I was wearing a disturbingly large shirt and not much else from the feel of things. I swallowed, thinking of that pig seeing me naked.

I jumped when I heard feet on the stairs leading down. The door slammed open and there stood that pudgy excuse of a human.

I smirked from the floor. 

“You really are stupid.” 

He squinted those nasty brown eyes. 

“Watch your mouth. It would be a shame if something happened to it before I got good use of it.”

I visibly shuddered.

“Do you really think taking me will be without consequences? I'm not a lowly daughter anymore. And you just declared war with the Inquisition.”

The man had the audacity to laugh. A really snide nasty laugh that just made him sound crazier than usual. 

“You are nothing more than what I'm going to finally get to marry. And fuck. I've waited years for this. No 'Inquisition’ can stop me. I'm a Noble Lord.”

I laughed. “You're not so Noble, ser. You, well you're a murderer. And a coward. Abusive. Oh and repugnant. Not to mention, flatulent, if your grotesque eating habits say anything about you. Did you know that a couple months ago I killed a dragon? I jumped on its head and embedded my dagger in its eye socket. It was really rather glorious. Gross too but oh well.”

He crossed the room and grabbed my hair, his face a mere inch from mine. “For fuck's sake, shut your mouth. You always were a lying whore. Haven't changed much have you?!” He asked, giving my head a hard shake before dropping it. 

I laid there, my head throbbing on the stone floor. 

He nudged me with his boot, hard enough to hurt my already aching side.

“Three days. Three days and you'll be mine.”

I laughed again, and he kicked me for it. I curled on my side, tears on my face. I looked up at him. 

“You'll be dead by then,” I said calmly. He yelled, kicking me again. Black swam in front of my eyes as I laid there unable to breathe. When I finally got a good breath, I muttered something along the lines of “Fuck off you oaf,” and he left the room with a promise to be back. He slammed and locked the door. 

I laid there for a minute, my ears ringing from the desperate bid for air. I tried to sit up, and nearly passed out from the pain in my chest. 

I laid back on the floor, taking short shallow breaths. I closed my eyes and thought of anything except where I was.

Like home.

With Thom and my chosen family that loved me more than any one bound by blood ever had.

 


End file.
